It’s been about a year since I first wrote this blog post for Army Wife Network and after enduring another move (this time hopefully permanent) I find these words to still hold true….
SHHHH. My head hurts. Keep the TV turned down and no sudden moves. Something is brewing and I’m a little off balance here. I may soon require chocolate and a long nap wouldn’t hurt. Have you felt like this before? Could it be the “P” word??
Let’s examine the symptoms. I’ve counted 5 and would’ve gone further except for the aforementioned lethargy.
1. You start out with a happy face. Life is simple. You have clear objectives. The world may give the faintest notion of a challenge on the horizon but you KNOW you can handle it. After all, you’ve been through it before, RIGHT? Enjoy this calm before the storm and don’t doubt your ability to handle any situation life will throw at you. Just sit back and enjoy a banana.
2. It’s setting in. The “P” word. And it’s all in loud SHOUTY BOLD!!! Where did the lovely banana of yesterday go? Perhaps your husband pulled it from your hidden space and devoured it slowly, leaving only the peel behind on the floor that you JUST mopped and is now dangerously slick. You will surely trip and crack your head open, or perhaps lose a limb. The “P” word has you agonizing over every little thing that will go wrong. It isn’t a pretty sight.
3. After releasing some anxiety and ingesting your weight in processed sugar and dairy you are about ready to settle into a new phase. You may not like the person you’re becoming but when you take a moment to consider the situation you really don’t like anyone within five feet. You especially don’t like that look on your husband’s face when he says, “Honey, could you please pass the peas.” Umm, NO! Doesn’t he realize the 900 OTHER things you have on your plate right now!!! You need to deal with what’s in front of your face first! PLEASE! He can learn to get them himself and that dog barking for her water … that is REALLY annoying. What is wrong with the world. Don’t they know you are busy. The “P” word is really starting to kick your butt and you know it. You are losing friends fast. But there is one new friend who you keeps coming around to greet you. When he rings your doorbell it is heavenly music to your ears. It doesn’t matter the time of day – a late night visit is not unheard of. You know who I’m talkin about….
5. The Pizza Man may be your BFF before the “P” word has ended. And yes, I know I skipped number 4, so sue me. I’m not in the mood *reaches for that last slice of pizza*
Just remember to find yourself a comfy pillow for the duration of the “P” word.