The Way He Fell

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We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time.
– from Hummingbird, by D.H. Lawrence

The black sky had cracks where the light broke through. He was the light that pierced. A blazing star.

Then he married. And his star crashed down. This story is no fairytale. We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time.

For a while he kept it together, held the crescent moon tightly under his tongue. It was unbearable. At night, she complained how his long limbs would shift, sending her to teeter on the bed’s edge. He tried to bend to her will. But she couldn’t pin him down.

When the storms finally came, he found he feared death no more. The doors came unhinged and the roof let out a whistle right before it kissed the floor.

Lucifer escaped. He had to pick another planet. He had to go where the women would fall under his control.

[144 words]

Kim, writing from North Norfolk, is today’s host of dVerse. Kim says:
Write a very short piece of prose [using the above complete line from a poem] that tells a story, with a beginning, a middle and an end, in any genre of your choice. As it’s flash fiction, we have a limit of 144 words; an additional challenge is to hit 144 exactly.

26 thoughts on “The Way He Fell

  1. Wonderful line and great metaphor: “The doors came unhinged and the roof let out a whistle right before it kissed the floor.” I’m glad he left for another’s ‘sphere.

  2. I love the imagery in this piece of prose, it captures my attention and it’s so visceral like in these lines:

    “The doors came unhinged and the roof let out a whistle right before it kissed the floor.”

    “The black sky had cracks where the light broke through. He was the light that pierced. A blazing star.”

    Such lovely writing. Very stirring.

  3. Liked this a lot – particularly the oddness of your Lucifer – morning star – a moon clamped under his tongue – long limbs in the bed pushing his poor wife to the very edge – and off to Eden next presumably to seduce poor Eve with that damned apple. Lots of fun.

    • I commented just now to Ingrid that I think there can be some religious symbolism in how Satan was divorced from Heaven. C.S. Lewis wrote about “The Great Divorce” of Heaven and Hell. Makes you think. Relationships and conformity and marriage and spirits. It was fun to write. Thanks for reading!

    • Not sympathy but I can see how someone might take it that way, especially because in my original longer piece I did stir in more compassion for the poor guy, but he wasn’t Lucifer in that story. But here it is a power struggle and it’s more about marriage to me. The Bible uses the imagery of being married to Christ in heaven, so I think it’s about conforming to being one, like in a marriage. Yet we know Lucifer didn’t conform. He rebelled. So it was the great divorce in Heaven and he took others with him the fallen angels. They all fell to earth and then in Genesis they took women if you believe in the whole “nephilim.” The story is also just fun, a look into his backstory that is metaphor. I think all Christians would love to really know more of the backstory of Lucifer.

  4. For a while he kept it together, held the crescent moon tightly under his tongue. It was unbearable.

    That’s a great image. There are such great lines in this piece, and an interesting story to say the least.

  5. It’s hard to believe that Lucifer was an angel. He certainly enjoyed his earthly pleasure in this piece, but we Earth women were too much for him and ‘his star crashed down’! I love the idea that the Dark Lord came down from a black sky as ‘the light that pierced’ and that he ‘held the crescent moon tightly under his tongue’. I also love ‘The doors came unhinged and the roof let out a whistle right before it kissed the floor’.

    • I was actually thinking he was going to Earth at the end when he was banished to pick another planet. So the marriage would be him not conforming in Heaven. Kind of like C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce of heaven and hell. He believes those in Hell wouldn’t feel comfortable in heaven. It’s been a while since I read it but he uses metaphor like their feet would hurt climbing the mountains. Thanks for the feedback 😊

    • Thanks! Yeah, it can be interpreted different ways but I purposely didn’t want it too realistic. I thought the idea of an intimate rebellion like in divorce was an interesting concept for Lucifer. Thanks for reading!

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