You stood outside the 7-Eleven, back when we were ten.
My skin felt dry and tight, I itched my palms,
you wiped the dirt from your knees. 1
We managed to finish high school
never questioning too much,
the good kids rarely did.
I am now a good man,
made of carbon, dust and hanging chads.2
Because I exist in physical form,
I frown at you now, full of mysticism, static air.
You’re no longer here.
But maybe you were always a dream
I couldn’t quite catch.
We both loved Art.
Yet, it was Math that drew me to you.3
I stand here now, by the water,
by your grave,
admiring the flowers
I need the answers!4
Give me a sign. I pray
with palms that tingle,
with fingers clasped tight,
as if I could hold onto
some ancient, undiscovered,
enchanted, lost art.
Whisper to me now,
I’ll cocoon each syllable
with silk threads that won’t break.
Let enough magic rise
for one last story.
1 The Georgia sun kept us a hot mess.
2 It was either this or dangling participles.
3 I copied your answers. I bet you didn’t know.
4 If you don’t have them, we’ll both fail together.
This is an older poem of mine I revised. Today is Open Link Night at dVerse and Linda is hosting. Stop by and read some more poems!
43 thoughts on “The Last Story (with footnotes)”
I love the format of your poem- well done!
Good to hear you liked it! Thanks! 💖
“Just give me enough magic for one last story” ….. How I love that line!!
Thanks, Beverly! The last line was a hard one!
brings tears to my eyes
It was designed that way, haha! Thanks, Lisa!
Very saddening, but your footnotes were funny. Beautifully written, Tricia, it is visceral. Well-written and well done.
So happy you liked it! ❤
Nice work indeed, TS. I was worried, at first, about footnotes, butt…
And yes; that plaintive closing couplet is perfection for this piece.
Thanks, Ron! I appreciate the comment about the ending. This was a little different write for me! I had fun with the challenge of footnotes and think more poems should use them!
Sorry; I only intended one “t” on that “butt”
oh Trisha this is so poingnant.This poem is the sign!
Yes, it’s the making sense of the nonsensical in poems. Thanks for your kind words! 💖
I love the format of this poem, Tricia, and the use of quirky footnotes is genius. I love the details of the dry, tight skin and itchy palms, and the shared interests, that say so much about the relationship without any further explanation. When the poem changed focus to the grave, I got tearful, especially when the itchy palms tingled. The final lines are heart-breaking.
Thanks for your comments! I’m so happy those lines touched you. I recently revised for the added description. 💗
It sounds like you lost a good friend far too soon – heartbreakingly beautiful!
Thanks, Ingrid! It’s mainly fiction. But we all have that longing to hold onto something lost. The characters seem real to me! 🙂
I’m glad it’s fiction! A very powerful story all the same 🙂
Has to be one of the most unique and enjoyable poems ~ ever. Thanks much.
I’ll take it! 🙂 I’m so happy you enjoyed it, Helen! ❤
Oh my heart this is absolutely stunning! 💝 I especially love; “Whisper to me now, I’ll cocoon each syllable with silk threads that won’t break.” 😀
Thanks, Sanaa! I always appreciate your comments. I cocoon them, never to be deleted, haha! ❤
delightful writing, so different and inviting … sad bewitching fascinating!
I’ll take it!!! I chase different and bewitching in all my writing! 🙂
well you excelled in this one 🙂
Yes to that last line!
Thanks, Anna! ❤
Love the imaginative design of this poem, Tricia, almost like notes passed between desks at school. Oh, and I know about that Georgia sun!! 🌞
Thanks, Dora! I lived in Grovetown, GA for a short stint while my husband was at Ft. Gordon. I loved Georgia! This poem was a fun challenge.
Original and rooted, so well done!
Thanks so much, Anna! 💗
I especially enjoyed these lines
“Whisper to me now,
I’ll cocoon each syllable
with silk threads that won’t break.”
Thanks, Lillian! I appreciate your feedback! ❤
Those last two lines are so poignant!
The footnotes are funny–and the line about the hanging chads.
Thanks, Merril! It’s good to hear that those lines worked for you! ❤
Soo poignant 💔🥺💖💖
Thanks! It is a bit of a tear jerker!!