The earth has changed –
there’s been five seasons
just this year, the print
confides in hidden braille,
I read it now with
gentle lips.
Hell has spread
it’s poem well
in mystic fog, cleverly
cloaked above the sea,
I read it now,
it swallows me.
Tomorrow, I write,
in fair blue skies,
and pass this poem
to strangers’ eyes,
they’ll read my words,
of mystic fog,
my journey from be-
neath the sea,
the light within
will always break free
I write it down,
it swallows
me, it swallows
pen, it
flows
from me.
I decided to extend a shorter poem I wrote on twitter a while back that was a tad depressing. I gave it a happier ending! The original was titled, Drowning.
Written for dVerse, the virtual pub for writers around the globe. Today Peter from Australia asks us to consider endings and gives several suggestions on how to write great ones! It’s our last prompt of 2020 as dVerse takes a winter vacation and returns with a haibun prompt on January 4, 2021.
Tricia Sankey 
Tricia a wonderful existential wandering. I definitely believe tomorrow’s skies will be blue. Happy Holidays and see you in 2021!
Definitely! Enjoy your holidays and keeping spreading your light! ✨
❤
I love this! It’s so consuming.
Thanks, Lucy! I’m hoping the light spreads out and consumes everything in it’s path ✨
Lovely piece Tricia – that last stanza is wonderful – as is the refrain, ‘I write it down, it swallows me’ – this paradox of creating / and losing identity – and losing control too – now the poem is out there being read, maybe misunderstood – it’s no longer yours to control. Such an odd thing we do with language, with words. Thank you.
Exactly! I’ve learned to let go of my writing over the years and let it be interpreted in different ways. I enjoyed reading your suggestions over at the pub and expect to read some great poetry from it! Happy Holidays to you! ✨
Thanks Tricia – yes, I’ve got to learn that in my own writing…(note to self).
May the light shine so bright. I so enjoyed your poem, specially the line breaks in the end:
I write it down,
it swallows
me, it swallows
from me.
Thank you for being part of our poetry community. Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Thanks, Grace! Keep shining your light and I’ll see you back in the pub in 2021 ✨
I love the idea of five seasons.
I often joke with my daughter about their being 8 days in a week or 5 seasons in a year, etc., and she get super annoyed with me (she’s nearly 6 😉 )
-David
Wordsworth’s poem “Nutting,” referred to 5 seasons,
“The violets of five seasons re-appear
And fade, unseen by any human eye”
He may have used it in another poem too, I can’t remember, but I think 2020 has definitely had 5 seasons!
Six years old is a fun age, my son is 15 now and definitely a know-it-all!
I love the shift from minor to major in this poem, Tricia, the ebb and flow, and the delicate imagery. I especially love the lines:
‘…the print
confides in hidden braille,
I read it now with
gentle lips’
and
‘I write it down,
it swallows
me, it swallows
pen, it
flows
from me.’
Thanks, Kim! I appreciate your comment 😊
I like “it swallows me, it swallows pen”
This year seems like two, definitely five seasons!
Thanks
Thanks for your comment, Yvonne! ❣️
I love the final stanza as it describes the creative process so well. I’m pleased you gave it a happy ending, too!
Thanks! I figured all my fellow poets would understand the ending! 💕
Five seasons, yes. A most fascinating poem. Cheers and Happy Holidays.
Thanks, Helen! Cheers to more poems in the new year 🍷
Despite the despair of 2020, I like to think ‘the light within will always break free”. Let’s raise our cup to 2021!
Yes, thanks for reading and cheers 🍷
Excellent response to Peter’s wonderful prompt. Hope you have a great holiday season, and look forward to reading more of your work in 2021.
Thanks, Rob, enjoy your holidays as well! ❄
Your work is awesome Tricia. I would love to co-write something long with you.if you are so inclined contact me.,please know i think it would be a. profound moment in literary
Intrigued! I’m a fan of your work, I think WP hijacked the end of your sentence. I’m currently fielding out some work on Upwork.com as an Editor but might have time for something longer in the future.
I love how you ended… it feels like with an ending of this year we must hope for a great beginning of the next year.
Yes, we have nothing without hope and faith ❣️
Tricia, so nice to be saved, we are all together, interesting refraction on drowning, to be swallowed by life, that which we are and which also consumes us, I love this. My poem this time round was also an extension of a previous poem, I did a Quadrille a couple years ago called Don’t Let Go, and this one is Called “Let Go” 🙂
Thanks! I will have to read it soon, need to get caught up ❤