Over the weekend I participated in 20 rounds of #SlamWords #45thEdition and have begun tweaking several of my rough draft poems. It is a fun monthly writing challenge that really gets your creative juices flowing with fast-paced writing prompts. I’ve edited one such piece for today’s Quadrille at dVerse, where Sarah hosts and the prompt word is swift.
We danced the cosmos
f r a y e d
A panoramic sight
knee’s cr ack ed
You caught me
swiftly pushing through stardust
in a sea of bright eyes
in silk skies
See my original tweet (@triciasankey) on March 6, 2021.
29 thoughts on “We Danced the Cosmos”
So lyrical. Bega to be read aloud. Good stuff.
Thanks, Beverly! I was reading it out loud and tweaking as I went! 💖
Fun cosmic tale, Tricia. Sounds like you also had fun doing slam poetry. I like the way you broke up cracked as omanopoiea (sp?) and then were caught “pushing through stardust” then got nicely entangled as illustrated in the cool video, where I pushed play over and over again to bring it life.
Thanks, Lisa! It was fun pushing myself over the weekend. I wanted this version to be more lyrical since the subject is very whimsical and fun. 💞
Beautiful write my friend 💙 spellbounding phenomenal
Thanks, I appreciate your feedback! 💝🙏
Quite an adventure–and a sigh-worthy finish! 💙
Thanks so much! 💖
Brilliant, Tricia. I loved this!
Thanks, happy to hear it! 💝
I love your cosmic metaphors! Great poem!
Appreciate the support! ❤
You are welcome!
Lovely, made me smile. I agree that it’s lyrical.
Thanks, Pat! If it brings smiles, that makes me 🥳
this makes me long for the return to open mics evenings i enjoy. this would be great read aloud .
Yes! If I liked my voice a little better I might stick a recording on my blog 🤣
I appreciate your support! ❣️
You had a busy weekend, Tricia! What a joy to have a collection of draft poems to play with. Your quadrille is full of joy and movement, and I love the way you describe the constellations as ‘circled and f r a y e d’ and played with the spacing of letters in the words, especially in ‘knee’s cr ack ed’ – I felt that! And such a sensual ending!
Thanks for your feedback, Kim! I actually was going to play with the format of the poem more buy WordPress always gives me problems when I try to stagger lines it lets me in edit but then won’t take. I need to research that more. Slam words did push me and was fun to see just how fast everyone could come up with poems. 💞
A fantastic poem of cosmic love 😍
Yes! Thanks, Ingrid! ❣️
Oh, that’s lovely. Lyrical and fun and playful and starlit.
Thanks so much, Sarah! 😊
Beautifully crafted lines. Thanks 😊
Appreciate your support! 💕
Oh, the knees cracking. Steamy Quadrille. Well-penned.
Thanks so much! 💖
Cosmos is great as a metaphor for passion and love… sounds like a lot of fun.
Yes! Thanks, Bjorn! 💝