Over the weekend I participated in 20 rounds of #SlamWords #45thEdition and have begun tweaking several of my rough draft poems. It is a fun monthly writing challenge that really gets your creative juices flowing with fast-paced writing prompts. I’ve edited one such piece for today’s Quadrille at dVerse, where Sarah hosts and the prompt word is swift.
We danced the cosmos
and dreamed
as constellations
circled and
f r a y e d
A panoramic sight
until I
fell
knee’s cr ack ed
under
Mercury’s
spite
You caught me
swiftly pushing through stardust
in a sea of bright eyes
until we
sank
breathless
tangled up
in silk skies
See my original tweet (@triciasankey) on March 6, 2021.
So lyrical. Bega to be read aloud. Good stuff.
Thanks, Beverly! I was reading it out loud and tweaking as I went! 💖
Fun cosmic tale, Tricia. Sounds like you also had fun doing slam poetry. I like the way you broke up cracked as omanopoiea (sp?) and then were caught “pushing through stardust” then got nicely entangled as illustrated in the cool video, where I pushed play over and over again to bring it life.
Thanks, Lisa! It was fun pushing myself over the weekend. I wanted this version to be more lyrical since the subject is very whimsical and fun. 💞
Beautiful write my friend 💙 spellbounding phenomenal
Thanks, I appreciate your feedback! 💝🙏
Quite an adventure–and a sigh-worthy finish! 💙
Thanks so much! 💖
Brilliant, Tricia. I loved this!
-David
Thanks, happy to hear it! 💝
I love your cosmic metaphors! Great poem!
Appreciate the support! ❤
You are welcome!
Lovely, made me smile. I agree that it’s lyrical.
Pat
Thanks, Pat! If it brings smiles, that makes me 🥳
this makes me long for the return to open mics evenings i enjoy. this would be great read aloud .
Yes! If I liked my voice a little better I might stick a recording on my blog 🤣
I appreciate your support! ❣️
You had a busy weekend, Tricia! What a joy to have a collection of draft poems to play with. Your quadrille is full of joy and movement, and I love the way you describe the constellations as ‘circled and f r a y e d’ and played with the spacing of letters in the words, especially in ‘knee’s cr ack ed’ – I felt that! And such a sensual ending!
Thanks for your feedback, Kim! I actually was going to play with the format of the poem more buy WordPress always gives me problems when I try to stagger lines it lets me in edit but then won’t take. I need to research that more. Slam words did push me and was fun to see just how fast everyone could come up with poems. 💞
A fantastic poem of cosmic love 😍
Yes! Thanks, Ingrid! ❣️
Oh, that’s lovely. Lyrical and fun and playful and starlit.
Thanks so much, Sarah! 😊
Beautifully crafted lines. Thanks 😊
Appreciate your support! 💕
Oh, the knees cracking. Steamy Quadrille. Well-penned.
Thanks so much! 💖
Cosmos is great as a metaphor for passion and love… sounds like a lot of fun.
Yes! Thanks, Bjorn! 💝