As we danced, his face moved
to mine and as our
eyes met I swooned, under his
cool, piercing power.
He whispered words that
teased, and my feet crept behind
his alluring chat.
Even along the far edge
of the sea, where old
tales spoke of dark mysteries –
making blood run cold.
His touch sparked desire
as we walked by the sea, then
a scream, “Run! Vampire!”
Today, Grace at dVerse has challenged us to write a Seguidilla. I had so much fun, I decided to double them up!
The Seguidilla is:
• stanzaic, written in any number of 2 part septets. (7 lines)
• syllabic, 7-5-7-5 : 5-7-5 per line. There is a slight pause between L4 and L5 suggesting L4 should be end-stopped.
• rhymed by assonance xAxABxB or xAxABAB. x being unrhymed. True rhyme is generally not used.
• composed with a volta or change in thought between L4 and L5.
• sometimes serves as a conclusion for another verse.
37 thoughts on “His Eyes”
I was ready for the big romantic moment but that ending line, snapped me out of it. Glad you had fun with the poetry form. Thanks for joining in.
This was a challenge!! Had to break his spell in the end. 😆
That ending really flipped the romance on it’s head. Well done!
Thanks for your feedback! 🙏❤
Wow! A double delight! Seems this poetic style is your style too. 😉
Thanks, Susan! I can say I learned something today! ❤🥳❤
Ha ha. I didn’t see that coming. Well constructed and well played. 🙂
Thanks so much! ❤🥳❤
I love vampires❣️
And I love this poem❣️
Thanks, David! I can’t seem to get off the vampire kick lately. Watched too much Vampire Diaries 😆
Even though she escaped his embrace, she will never forget it. I love the story you tell here and a perfect image to go with it, Tricia.
Thanks! I do like the image as well! I might not complain about his bite… 😏
lmao. Maybe his sip wouldn’t hurt you too bad (famous last words!) Run girlfriend!
😂 you are looking out for me, I’m a sucker for a bad boy! 💞
I loved the ending – this turned the poem into a lot of fun! I started out with Wuthering Heights and ended up at ‘Dracula: Dead and Loving it…’
Thanks! Technical forms can frustrate me but it’s also nice to have a challenge. 💕
You managed to squeeze a whole story into your seguidilla, Tricia!
It was a bit hard 😃 Thanks, Kim! ❣️
I almost passed up this form challenge. Not really my strong point. But I’m very glad that YOU, TS, didn’t opt out. You nailed it (form-wise) AND entertained me greatly. Thanks.
I had to actually count this week 😹 this was a challenge but so happy you enjoyed it!! 🎉🍷
Well penned with a zinger of a last line!
Thanks so much, Beverly! 💞
Oh my! After all the sensuality, I didn’t expect a Vampire ….. well done!
Thanks, Helen! ❤
Wow, wow, wow!! You took the prompt to the next level, Tricia 💝💝 I so enjoyed the closing 😀
Thanks, Sanaa! I’m always happy when I can sneak a vampire into a poem! 🧛♂️
What a twist! Well written!
Thanks so much! Just saw your comment went to my spam folder, I appreciate your stopping by! ❤
I have always understood that the vampire was really a myth intended to keep girls from the danger of seduction.
True! The psychology behind the vampires is an interesting read. I think the ancient Greek myths was about the fear of female sexuality.
Great fun with the form and a dark twist for a romping romance!
Thanks so much! ❤️
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