Clouds huddle now
with salty tears for the earth
no compass
points to land
as we drift
splayed
out
in solidarity
pour the wine
let it flow
I want to taste
a kaleidoscope of
sizzling stars
for
It’s suffocating
navigating
this
space
Written for tonight’s Poetics: China – Kingdom of the Poem, prompt over at dVerse.
The challenge: Select ONE of the prompt poems and with as many re-reads as needed, imagine and reinterpret the poem in your own style.
I picked the following poem:
“The lingering clouds, rolling, rolling,
And the settled rain, dripping, dripping,
In the Eight Directions—the same dusk.
The level lands—one great river.
Wine I have, wine I have:
Idly I drink at the eastern window.
Longingly—I think of my friends,
But neither boat nor carriage comes.”
Love this. Sensual like a siren’s call — what else could navigate “this space”?
Thanks, Dora! “A Siren’s Call” would be another good title! This flowed well from the prompt today!
Splendid! A beautiful re-rendering.
Pleased you enjoyed! 💖
This is soo wonderful..Image too👌🏻
Thanks so much! 💕
Always welcome
Firstly, I like the gif image it really sets the stage for your poem. I enjoyed your interpretation, which retains the essence, and your format.
Thanks, Lisa! I figured people would love or hate the format, so glad it worked for you! 💖
We actually need rain right now, but it’s so cold that it would be snow. I like the look of that rain 🙂
We just had snow here in Missouri this morning, but melted by afternoon. The temperature swings here have been crazy!
‘I want to taste
a kaleidoscope of
sizzling stars’
– Me too! Who wouldn’t? I like the cascading form you’ve used here 🙂
Haha! Thanks! 💕
Tricia,
This makes me feel like all of the cocktails I’ve ever tried have been rather bland!
❤
David
🤣 It would have to be a sparkling wine! 🍷
A wonderful shape and form, Tricia, and great use of space as caesura. I love the lines:
‘I want to taste
a kaleidoscope of
sizzling stars’.
Thanks, Kim! 💖
the layout gives added interest to your very imaginative poem – the space/suffocation feeling is palpable.
“no compass
points to land”
those few words, speak volumes. Brilliant!
Thanks so much, Laura! This prompt really inspired me this week! 💝
This is absolutely exquisite, Tricia 😀 I so love; “I want to taste a kaleidoscope of sizzling stars! 💝💝
Thanks for the feedback, Sanaa! 💖🍷
I like how you’ve re-interpreted this. With just a few words you express the hopelessness of the situation.
Thanks so much, Ken! 💝
🙂
I love it… I think reads a bit like if William Carlos Williams would have done it with it’s sparseness focusing on the essential imageries of the original.
He’s great! A high compliment! 💝
Wow. What a lovely flow of a poem – and the repeating sibilance conjures up the water throughout.
Thanks so much! 💝
A great poem Tricia! I love this line!
no compass
points to land
as we drift
splayed
out
Thanks, pleased to hear those lines touched you! 💕
You are welcome!
Great use of space.
Thanks, Sean! ❣️