There is a shadow of you, shattered there –
with dark fragments floating, I trace you with
fair fingers and cold stars, a strange affair
with little reason and faulty rhyme with
too much pain and desire, we break into
a sweat, counting cracked, broken moons, learn a
new language where mystic tongues curse anew
a sacred scroll splays out – read it now, a
strange story indeed, with perfectly strange
beginnings and silly ends, beginnings
change meaning, with old metaphors, and change
ending rhymes around, forever ending.
Demand order. Demand truth. Yes, demand.
Understand chaos and lies. Understand?
Written for dVerse, where Laura asks us to write sonnets of 14 lines and 10 syllables (iambic pentameter is optional extra) while starting and ending each line with the same word (including derivatives and homophones).
The word ‘shadow’ or its derivative should be in the poem’s title, and the notion of shadow as metaphor or reality should feature somewhere in your poem.
58 thoughts on “A Shadow of You”
You dunnit, TS! Awesome shadower!
I need some kind of certificate. This was a challenge!! 😆
I enjoyed reading your poem, Tricia. The photo is a nice pairing.
Thanks, Michele, I’m glad it didn’t give you a headache like me, haha! 😆
You are welcome. Definitely not. 😆 Sorry it did for you, but I understand.
I think I just need chocolate and I’ll be okay! 😉
Great idea! 🍫😄 Enjoy!
This is both beautiful and haunting. Well done!
Thanks, I appreciate your feedback! 💖
Yup, Tricia. Lovely. So lovely. xo
Glad you enjoyed it, Selma! ❣️
Thanks so much, Carol! 💖
Nicely done Tricia. You did very well on this form.
Thanks, Dwight, I don’t usually love to write form poetry but am glad I did today! 💓
I am glad you did also!
Speechless Tricia…I am rather besotted by such poetry…and it’s not just a stunning set of words that flows so well, despite the limitations of the prompt — that are gone here, of course, but also as the whole poem is a metaphor itself, throwing imagery and ideas at me …brilliant, just brilliant..
Thanks for your lovely comment, Ain, metaphors are fun, my mind just seems drawn to them! 💖
I like the shadowy subtexts you weave here, Tricia! 💕
Thanks, Ingrid! This was a challenge but glad it pushed me somewhere new! 💞
Wonderful, Tricia. The message is great, the styles evidently good… the alliteration not to forget mentioning sounded good on my lips cause I love reading poems aloud.
Thanks, I do love alliteration, so glad you enjoyed it as well! 🤩
Sure I did. Most welcome. It’s a pleasure reading you.
Tricia – I love your use of enjambment! This is utterly beautiful.
It came out better than I thought I could write, trying to “shadow” words, thanks for your comment, David! 💖
My man, I have the same thing on my mind!
Dare I be the one to give you a certificate Tricia – you rose to the challenge like a rainbow trout to the bait! ;). Enjoyed reading and re-reading this especially these lines
“There is a shadow of you, shattered there –
with dark fragments floating, I trace you with
fair fingers and cold stars, a strange affair”
Yay! Glad I didn’t mess up the form and you enjoyed it, Laura, thanks for hosting! 💞
A beautiful take! Enjoyed reading this lovely sonnet!!
Thanks, pleased you enjoyed it! ❣️
Nice one Tricia.
Thanks for dropping by to read mine
Thanks so much, Gillena! 💓
Tricia your first line hooked me in and didn’t let me go until the end. Mysterious indeed!
Thanks, Lisa, I love hooking a good reader! 💖
You’re welcome ❤
Exceptionally well done. Really. Exceptional. You’ve taken the shadow repeat and used it to such astounding effect – it’s surprising – and yet doesn’t seem heavy-handed or throbbing (as in a stuttering pause that breaks the natural flow of the poem). I really love the power of the word choice in the first two stanzas – it paints a delicious picture.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment! I always feel so biased at times on what I think works in my poems, so it’s nice to hear what other’s appreciate in my writing! 💖
I think inherent bias in our own interpretations and poetic creations is natural – a given. The more I amuse myself on thinking on “what makes poetry poetry” and the act of its creation, the more I’m lead to believe it is, ultimately, a very selfish act. 😂
At any rate, I think your sonnet is really outstanding. All of it. Truly, one of the ones on tap that has impressed me the most. Skillfully well done!
You give the best feedback! 🎊 💞🙏💞
thanks – 😂
Wow. Awesome write, Tricia! Love the weave. 💖
Thanks for reading, Jeff! 💖
You’re welcome, Tricia! Always my pleasure. 💖
A stunning shadow sonnet, Tricia! Love the first two stanzas especially, and this sort of breathless feeling as the words unfold, and there almost being a riddle hidden among them. ❤
Thanks, Sunra, so pleased you enjoyed and I agree with the riddle part, maybe the subconscious mind understands this read! 😆
The way you played with the meanings really makes it flow. (K)
So glad you think so, Kerfe! 💖
Such a lovely take on the sonnett Tricia. It has a dreamy feel! Nice job!
Thanks, Cindy, appreciate your comment! 💖
I understand many things, but, chaos and lies, aren’t always one of them. Lucky I had you poem to lead the way. Great write
I understand things, few and many, but, chaos and lies, aren’t always included. Lucky I had your poem to lead me to them this time. Framed beautifully.
Thanks, Darius! Maybe to know the truth we have to live the lie 😂
This is really really good, love how you made it seem effortless (i know the struggle to write to such limitations) I particularly love how you ended it… the best resolution is often a question
Thanks Bjorn, I agree about the best resolution often being a question. I’m editing the end of my novella right now to put on Amazon by the end of the month and I think leaving a bit of mystery at the end will work there too. I have more questions than answers in life so it works! 😄